Diagnosis

I've not been feeling 100% for the last few days. A bit of a stomach bug, I think, probably encouraged by an overly swift transition from American holiday time to a week of British BBC Radio 2 early shifts.
Mrs N has been doing what all good wives should do, and hectoring me about going to the doctor. I've been doing what blokes do and saying "No, no, I'm sure it's getting better."
Anyway, last night, in a moment of weakness, I thought I'd check out my symptoms on the web. I found a very promising site with a sophisticated Symptoms Checker which allows you to add in all your symptoms so that it can carefully consider your condition. I filled in my list of symtpoms. I shan't trouble you with the gory details. Suffice it to say that they are most of the symptoms you'd expect with a stomach bug! The computer went away to think for a while and then offered a long list of possible ailments. Prominent therein was:

DEAFNESS (an inability to hear sounds)

Er .... am I missing something? I think I might know if I was deaf. And it wouldn't be my stomach that was giving me the clue !