A Big Day Ahead

I'm writing this from Radio 2 HQ, where the excitement is palpable.


The great day has arrived.


Sir Terry Wogan's last breakfast show? No, that's not til Friday.


No, this is a more pressing matter....

What you need to know is this: On Wednesday 25th November, none other than Chris Evans became trapped in the loo, when the door lock jammed. He was eventually released. (whether this is a good thing you may speculate but I couldn't possibly comment) Something of a fuss ensued and, with a turn of speed not normally associated with the contractors who look after the premises, a sign was posted on the door. Not the sign seen above, no, the first one promised a repair date of 1st December. A chap duly turned up, spent several hours dismantling the lock and muttering darkly. Then he disappeared and, some time later, the sign was changed.

Once upon a time, someone would have popped out to the ironmongery shop down the road and purchased a new lock. We live in a different world now, of course, and I reckon the Executive Action Plan looks something like this:

1) Form committee to examine history of Toilet Door Lock Incidents in the workplace.
2) Working Party to study similar incidents in other large organisations.
3) Health & Safety to conduct full risk assessment before concluding that lockable doors are inherently dangerous.
4) Various manufacturers invited to tender for the provision of new doors.
5) Cheapest tender chosen.
6) Door supplied. Wrong size.
7) Door adapted. 300% budget overshoot.
8) Original door lock refitted.
9) Chris Evans gets locked in again.
10) Repeat as required.

It's a bit like the Procurement debacles of the Ministry of Defence. Only with us, nobody dies. They just get locked in the loo.